bathroom surprise
by ZombieCommando
Summary: warning: futa on cutboy dont like dont read futa-janexcuntboy dirk side warning: i dont own homestuck it belongs to andrew hussie


Jane didn't know really how to respond. After all, one doesn't just wake up with the opposite sex's "equipment" so to speak. She had been at first freaked out over it, trying her best to ignore it or pretend it simply wasn't there. Yet try all she did she couldn't ignore that embarrassing little fact about dicks, namely how god damn horny they always were. It frustrated her to no end, she could be doing the most boring and innocuous of activities and suddenly without warning, she'd find her dick suddenly becoming stiff and rock hard. Her feminine pants pressing painfully against it, their dimensions and measurements not meant for her long and meaty trouser snake. Even more frustrating is how as uncomfortably as that experience always tended to be, it would also make her more aroused, her attempts to shift and adjust the denim and her own member just making it harder and larger. Oh she would try to ignore it after that, yet hours of the damnable thing sliding itself against its confines just drove her into even greater heights of arousal. It would eventually go down once more, yet by then she had gotten so flustered over it she could barely return to whatever it was she was working on. Of course everyone has their limits, Jane Crocker being no exception. As always it creeped up on her, this time while she was in the middle of baking a lovely little cake for her friends, who had decided to stop by for a visit. As she was mixing the eggs, she felt that same dreadful feeling of her head becoming fuzzy with lust, her pants tightening, and her dick become hungry for the touch of her hand. She was nervous at first, hoping that she'd be able to hide it long enough for it to subside before her friends took notice. Yet for reasons unknown it was much larger than usual, it's head poking slightly out from the lip of her pants. Even more troublesome was just how much more powerful the cravings were now. She could always ignore them before yet, dear god how they were overpowering now. Jade panicked, trying to think of anything that might better hide it or help it become flaccid once more, yet even thinking of it proved to worsen her ordeal and the cravings were now insatiable, her cock spasms now fiercely sending her over the edge. It was painful yet so much more pleasurable, and she gathered what last ounces of will she had left, panting as she begged it to stop. But with one slight twitch against the fabric, she finally gave in. Hurriedly she excused herself, rushing to the restroom to relieve herself in more ways than one. She shut the door, locking it and then racing to free her erection. She fumbled with her pants, her shaking hands spending far too much time trying to remove the belt so she could lose her skirt. At last she was able to free herself and like a mad man she threw the belt and skirt aside, letting them crash into the floor. She only briefly looked at her engorged cock; it was easily as thick as her wrist, perhaps even more so, and as long as her forearm. Quickly getting to work she grasped the head of her shaft, rapidly jerking it up and down, slowing her pace only to spit in her palm so as to better lube herself. She grasped hold of the edge of her sink, her other hand fiercely pounding up and down her shaft, she couldn't rub every inch of herself yet she damn well tried. Shifting from the bottom, her head, and back to the middle, all the while firmly pounding herself as roughly as she could. She grunted desperately, she wanted so badly to cum now, but every time she came close to her climax it quickly faded, forcing her to start again, her member never once growing flaccid. She was beginning to grow exhausted, her movements becoming more slack with each jerk. Yet still her arousal remained as heightened as ever and she began to cry. She just wanted to bake a simple cake and of all times this vile thing attached to her had to ruin this moment. she heard a knock on the door, and felt her body freeze up. She asked who it was, hoping to god she could come up with a good enough excuse to convince them to leave her in peace. It was Dirk, informing her that she'd been apparently in the room for well over half a hour and the others were worried something was wrong. Jane attempted to put Dirk's concerns to ease, telling him some poorly thought up excuse. He seemed unconvinced and began to jiggle the door, managing to unlock it in the process. Jane cursed under her breath, quickly grabbing hold of a towel to try to cover herself. Yet it was too late, Dirk walking in right as she was about to hide her dick, only for him to see her with a massive thick cock in her hands and a towel that was certainly far too small to have made any difference anyway. Jane began to stammer, her eyes wide in horror and her dick quivering in her trembling hand. Dirk however kept his cool, acting as if this was all part of just another one of his plans. Her turned towards the door, locking it behind him and wordlessly began to unbuckle his own pants. Jane reeled back in surprise, if she wasn't at a loss before she certainly was now. She scampered back against the nearest wall, curious to know just what Dirk was doing. Bending his knees he slide his pants and underwear off, letting them fall to his side. He then stood before her, lifting his shirt up slightly so she could better view his own crotch. Much to her now even greater surprise, nestled between his legs was a dripping wet pussy, swollen with as much arousal as her dick was. And with that Jane knew, Dirk was suffering from the same issues as she was. As odd as it would be there was clearly no other solution for either of their mutual problem. Jane was going to fuck that pussy. She got to her back, letting Dirk straddle her as she grasped his mannish hips. They started slowly at first, Dirk rubbing her shaft along his labia and running her head along his clit. He then leaned back; resting on his elbows while he rid Jane's cock as if it was a pole. Rapidly he bucked his hips up and down, letting her head rub against his clit as firmly as he could manage. Jane panted, covering her mouth and hoping not to alert the others. Quietly she squealed and moaned under her breath. Dirk remained as stoic and emotionless as ever, not even emitting so much as a peep, the only indication he was enjoying this being the spasms of his cunt and the tensing of his legs. Like a pornobatic ninja, Dirk launched to his knees, returning to his straddling position. Without warning he leaped unto Jane's cock, penetrating himself on her. Up and down he bounced, slapping his ass against her lap, one hand upon her stomach and the other on her knee as he rid her like a wide stallion. Jane, didn't even bother to help him, using both her hands to desperately stifle any moans and screams. Dirk surprising let out a few small grunts, his face wincing a bit every time he came down on her. Finally neither could hold it in and with one agonizing and slow push, Dirk clenching himself over Jane's dick, they both came. Dirk legs violently trembling while he slumped his head, Jane unloading large and thick volumes of cum into him, thick wads spurting from him. Dirk quickly collected himself, slowly pulling off from her and using a towel to clean wipe his pussy clean. He helped Jane to her feet, helping her dress herself. And as wordlessly as he entered they both left, acting as if nothing was amiss. Jane returned to her cooking, finally no longer distracted by any annoyances. She finished baking her cake, handing a piece to each of her friends. Roxy curiously looked worried. Asking Jane if she should be eating so soon after a being constipated. Jane shot Dirk a dirty look before rolling her eyes and digging in. End.


End file.
